Guilty as Charged

Well, I have heard from my public, and they miss me.  I didn't realize this many of you were reading my blog, but after six people in three days comment on it that they want to know if I'm okay, I figure I better get back in the saddle.

For one thing, I have a novel coming out next month called "The Memory of Orchids" and I have had to edit it twice and one more time before it goes to press - I don't know what day this week it is coming, but one day this week it'll be in my inbox and I will drop everything to read it once again.  Whew.

And I am looking for a job.  My contract here expires on April 30, though I have paychecks till August 31, and I have appealed the decision not to renew, meeting with that committee this Thursday, and between arguing my appeal and searching for employment and teaching an override/extra course (comp, which I am in the midst of grading paper two this weekend.  I'm not going to get done, so I might as well blog) I do not know what day of the week it is unless I look in my gradebook.

I did finally get to go to Bethel this past month, both Paterson and Walkill, and then we went for the museum tour at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  All I can say is I have never applied for jobs in NYC but now I am.  I would live in a shoe box (likely where I would literally be) to be there amidst all that culture and restaurants.

Especially after living HERE.  I can say Auburn asked for my extended dossier, and I sure would like to go there however.  Alabama!  Woo hoo.  But I'm sure they asked over a dozen people.  What happens is I send a letter (each one has to be different, edited, to suit the school) and my resume (called a curriculum vitae in academia, no idea why, never wondered) and then if they like me they ask for samples of my published writing, samples of my syllabi/assignments, my transcripts, letters of reference, on and on.  Some of them want those things in different order in different combinations, so I spend all my time in my office printing this or that combination to mail out.  Some of them now ask for online attachments and that is worse (since I have free professional postage) because it means I gotta type up my name and address and all that jazz each time individually.  So it gets pretty annoying.

That's about all I know.  I chopped off all my hair.  Well, Abel's daughter did.  I have been confused over my hair.  It was getting such a lot of gray that the henna I was using (strawberry blonde) was having a hard time covering it.  It felt like I was using it every five weeks.  Five years ago, I was using it every eight weeks.  So, brilliant idea that I get sometimes, I ordered henna this summer in the next lighter shade, champagne.

I put it in and it was nearly blonde, my roots.  I put it on all over but the strawberry blonde did not get lighter.  So I went to see Abel's daughter and she stripped the henna out.  It took three bleach soap rounds and once my hair turned green.

When she got done, it was very blonde, and it felt like straw.  I was heart broken.  Then, my roots grew out.  Have you ever seen someone with DARK roots growing out?  But at least that hair was normal.  That wheat straw damaged hair was so funky I did not want to touch it!  That has never happened to me.

So I gave in.  I ordered the strawberry blonde henna and I chopped off the straw last week.  The henna came and I put it in this morning.  I feel like me again.  I guess I'm not meant to ever be blonde or gray.  If this old system would just get a move on, I hope I never have to find out how I look with silver, white, or mostly gray hair.

Seriously, one of the most wonderful things I look forward to in the new order is seeming my Little Ruth with red hair.  She was such a knock out in her pictures.  I mean, Sarah's got nothing on her.

So, I got my feelings hurt this week.  I didn't even know it at first.  Do you ever do that?  You do something, say something, interact with someone, and then a few days later you think oh man, that is how they meant that?  Here is what happened.

I want to hand copies of my books out to certain audiences.  Mostly, to surrounding area colleges that have visiting writers.  You cannot go be a visiting writer without a book.  The colleges want to be able to sell your book in their book stores, and you don't have enough clout to get paid as a visiting writer without a book.  (You would not believe how much better of a job I can apply for now as well.  Arkansas requires two books to be on their faculty, but it's one of the TOP programs in the nation).  Anyhow, I could get all expenses paid and make, depending on the size of the school, between 500 and 1250 a pop for these little one-day excursions.  I want to get the calendar out and start marking it up!

But to get going, these people have to know who you are and what your book is.  I cannot afford to send all these places a copy of my book.  So I was going to download the pdf to a cd along with my very photo-shopped picture (thank you Kimberly for all the exxed out wrinkles and the pretty red hair, no gray!) and also reviews, the cover of the book as a pdf, and the articles in the local papers (I already had one).  And my contact information.

I have nice cd covers and have color copied the book cover for the cd cover.  Well, Abel burned me some cds back in the good old days of our friendship, and he burned not only the music into them but he also burned the top of it with a design that looks like the record company put it out.  It is tres professionale, dahling. 

I asked him how he did it.  He has a light scribe program/burner.  I can get an external one for about 30 bucks.  The cds are a little more than average.  The kicker is it takes 30 minutes to burn each one and I want to do about 120.  (I am also sending to newspapers in AR and OK and a few reviewers of literary journals).  I asked him how to do it and for all the details and we talked after the meeting Thursday night for quite a little bit. 

Then the meeting was over and I drove through Wendy's and got burgers and that new caramel apple frosty thing for the girls.  I used to go to Wendy's after meeting with Abel and his parents and also sometimes McDonald's in Windber where the Hall is.

Of course I'm driving through and of course they short me two burgers.  There is a line to Kingdom Come so I go inside and there are is Abel and his parents.  Too late to turn around.  So I tell the counter girl and says my two burgers will be out in a minute so I go over to the table where they are while I wait and say wow, you didn't invite me!  You know the way I am.  All southern big mouth redneck.

We spoke for a few minutes, but they call it fast food for a reason, and I wasn't waiting very long.  I came straight home, looked at the external light scribe drive things to price them, and sent Abel an email about it saying hey, do you think I could work this thing?  Because he ain't got time to burn them but I could easily do the half hour thing as I go back and forth to classes all day.  He sent back maybe his briefest email ever.  I wrote back and said this is what I was planning and this is how I'm doing it and this is what your daughter said while she was cutting my hair off.  I seriously had no romance afoot, nothing plotting.  I am glad nothing worked out for us and right now, I finally have resolved I intend to remain single till the new world.  I am kind of liking it of late.  I see freedom after launching the girls that I do not want to sacrifice for some guy who wants cream pie on his schedule and I want to write or blog or just sit on my buns.

I guess I got old.  Sex was never that great anyhow.  Okay, so then Saturday I was in my office all day applying for jobs and it occurred to me Abel never emailed me back.  He didn't have to of course, and actually I was just running my fingers and didn't ask him anything so there was nothing specific to answer.

Then I thought about how when I said well, you didn't invite me in Wendy's, that they still didn't ask me to sit down and stay a few minutes.  And he still never emailed me back, and I went up to him at the hall because of course, blind to how anyone feels about me, all I could think about was I needed to know about burning the tops of cds.

I don't know.  I considered moving back to East Hills congregation and then the trip to Bethel came up just for members of Windber.  Now, it looks like I'll be moving in July so why bother?  But I just thought good grief, do you think you have to avoid me so I won't get all wrapped up in you again?  Because seriously, I am moving on, depending on this job situation, either in 2012 or 2013, and I sure ain't dragging a man with me when I go.  All the pies are going to be on my schedule from now on.

Am I crazy?  Reading too much into stuff?  I know.  I can over analyze something to death.  That is what writers and literary critics do.  The problem is always knowing when to stop doing that in your real life.

I still have papers to finish.  I missed you all.  I'll get my groove back on now that I know you missed me.