I don't know if it is the ear hurting or what, but I woke up at 2:00 a.m. panicked from a nightmare that Carly was dying and her father and sister told me she could wait till morning and I was beside myself trying to get to her. I was so shook up I went and woke her up and asked her if she was okay. The dream was that vivid that I thought it might be happening.
I got back to sleep, probably two hours later, and at 5:00 a.m. woke up from a horrible nightmare that I was with a man with long hair and a beard, metallic BO, and I was trying to make him not leave me and I was begging and taking off my clothes trying to convince him. That strikes me as kind of odd in the cold light of day, as if I was trying to get a guy to stay with me, getting nekkid at my age might not be incentive. What ain't fat is wrinkled. And it was a very vivid dream as well, and I will spare you the primitive details, but I was ashamed that I even dreamed of doing something like that.
By the time I got back to sleep, I must have been exhausted enough to sleep through the alarm and cut it off. I missed the meeting. Tomorrow, something for my ear. I would so much have preferred to get my sleep and make the meeting. I can't decide which dream is worse today. I'm going to quit dwelling on them now, but really, those are the two worst scenarios I can possibly think of. I can imagine all kinds of sin I might possibly get pulled into, but not hooking up with a smelly old hippie at the cost of displeasing Jehovah. But to consider my child's life like that, oh man.
I can't think of anything I ate or any reason to have such unreasonable dreams. Someday in the new world, I'd like for someone to explain exactly what dreams are for. Maybe they will be pleasant or unremembered. Maybe goofed up dreams are yet another symptom of imperfection. Like another one was necessary. So even in our sleep, we are sinners.
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