Those are the words of Jessica Rabbit in that crazy movie that mixes animation with live action called "Who Framed Roger Rabbit." Sometimes I want to say I'm not bad it just looks that way.
I missed a blog yesterday. I nearly went to bed just now, but I need to honor my commitment as far as is possible. So many things are going on. I checked email all day to see if Jennifer had baby Jordyn today. She probably could have been induced but the hospital ended up not having room in labor and deliver, so they are now aiming for Friday. Ah, delayed expectation. I want the baby now safe, but you know, I believe Jehovah designed the maternal body to know when to kick in and let the baby deliver. So if she isn't trying to get out of there yet, I'm okay with waiting.
But it's hard work! Harder for Jennifer than me, for sure. And my little Ruth is in the middle of packing up and heading for Texas. She and her siblings are all going to be relocating and closer together and it's going to be a better deal for all of them. I'm so excited for her, but it's also a lot of work for four people - actually five, since Neva Joy and Jearold are a couple. Moving is awful for young people. For senior citizens, it's got to be multiplied. First, they've lived longer so sometimes have more stuff. Second, they've lived longer so the body gets tired easier. I'm not picking on them. I really hope this system doesn't go long enough for me to reach any of their ages, because I will not be in that good of shape if I could live that long.
I was so busy last night I forgot to take all my pills and vitamins and my chest felt heavy all day. I went to the dentist this morning and they said get an electric toothbrush or your gums are going to be sorry. I want to say well, I'm not going to live much longer until I start getting better everyday. But I guess I ought to price sonic care toothbrushes for the heck of it.
So tonight I'm tired, but I feel better because I took all those pills about five hours ago. And my teeth still feel slick and clean. I like that.
I have been looking at the job listings for professors in the areas of specialization that I can teach. I cannot, for example, teach British Literature. I don't really like it and while I took the survey courses of it, I am not qualified to teach it except in the most general freshmen level kind of way. I think the British are pretty arrogant. Why is their literature from that small country considered a whole subject? It's just not that good even if it is English. American Lit is a lot bigger country you know. I specialize in gender and African American Lit and can also do all creative writing, and some Arabic and American lit and film.
But the medieval lit, Asian, composition and rhetoric, I cannot do period. And American lit I can really only do 20th century. Before that, I don't really like that old stuff. Some is okay, but not enough to get a degree in it.
It is interesting to consider all the jobs I might interview for, and the places I could end up moving. I would miss somethings about here, but snow/winter is not one of them. Argh. I would miss the friends, but the people I work with, well, I would not miss some of them.
And that is all I know. I wanted to come to Pennsylvania and be needed and valued. I had such high hopes. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am not going to match anywhere. But I did not match here and I am older, heavier, tireder, and have lost spiritual ground with the girls, in this place. I am more in debt than when I got here - thank you heating oil bill in the first house that was not insulated properly and everyone kept telling us it was US southern girls being cold rather than an issue with the construction of the house. I am still trying to pay interest and principal on those credit cards. I see daylight, but it's been a very long night. I don't know if I didn't let Jehovah direct me in coming here, or I was headstrong, or I want too much out of a place to want me back. While the work of moving again is daunting, the actual trying again in a new place fills me with hope.
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