The baby pictures are of Adalyn. She is five months old, and if I remember right, 19 pounds now. She has those cute little thighs that you just want to pinch like the Pilsbury Dough Boy.
Her mother's name is Gianna, and Gianna is close to Carly's age, and they used to be pretty good friends in Arkansas. Gianna is now in Texas, which is where I would like to be, but I would like to be anywhere else but here. As we draw closer to winter, that feeling will get worse.
Anyhow, Gianna is also my friend but to be honest, we've hurt each other a few times. I don't know why that is. I always want to do right by Gianna, but sometimes I think my relationship with her is just to keep me humble. It's like Jehovah said, "Cherri Ann, you've gotten a little too big for your britches. You think you can just make everything okay, but you can't. Case in point, Gianna."
She's doing pretty fine without me by the looks of her baby girl. So I am humbled yet again. Sometimes I think the trouble between us is being too much alike. Having a lot of energy and no outlet for it. Spinning wheels and not having a chance.
It's a funny feeling now to see how she dresses her baby - because it is how I knew she would dress her and how I would dress her. Funny how her name is Adalyn and we have an Adelaya in our congregation (Addy) who's mother dresses her the same. Sunday, Addy had on a green dress with a horizontal stripe in the skirt - graduated green then white then purple. Now one of my favorite color combinations is green and purple. Yes, you have to do it right, but Addy was right. And then I noticed she had a hair bow that married green and purple and it was just fabulous.
Gianna dresses her baby in all these cool lady bug print hats, feathery boa-like headbands, and polka dotted pants. Panda bear sleepers and frou frou onesies. Part of me feels funny, because Carly is about Gianna's age and she is still at home, no husband, no baby. I could be a grandma by now. And Gianna takes good care of her baby and puts her first. Somehow, that has made her grow up fast. I wish there was a little more growing up around this house some days (most days.) Maybe not from that, but anyhow.
I would never oversimplify life and say a baby solves problems, but I am grateful I had my babies and I got my act together on their behalf. I loved them more than I loved myself. I didn't care about or take care of me, but them, oh them. All that self-sabotaging behavior had to stop for me to be a mom.
I have heard that when two people are very much alike, they don't get along. Opposites attract. Maybe that is why Gianna and I have gone round and round. Maybe we won't anymore. I would like that.
I'll give you one reason, though there are many, for why I feel that way. We used to have these talent night get togethers in Arkansas. I have posted (way back in June I think) photographs of the Hannah play I wrote and directed for our congregation youth. I always got up and read poems written for the occasions as well. Well, the first one we had, Gianna got up to sing with a karaoke back up band. And right smack in the second verse, she forgot the lyrics for about four lines. And she stood her ground, hummed, and when the chorus kicked back in, she went right back to it without a second glance. She did not run off the stage or step back. She messed up over nerves, but she owned it. She took responsibility and got on with the business of singing what she did know.
I admire that. It's tough to do. Plenty of other girls would have left as soon as the show was over so no one could snicker about them, and you know how a bunch of teenaged girls are, sadly, even in the congregation. She got a few snickers, but she stayed there.
Someday me and Adalyn are going to have to go out for ice cream and talk about these blessings. Plus, I gotta tell her, I love that funny looking monkey her momma bought her in the picture.
No comments:
Post a Comment