Snakes

Of course, the thing yesterday about elephants got me to thinking about critters in general.  When I think about animals, I think about Loretta.  She could have been on a certain TV show starring as Ellie Mae.  She has every kind of rabbit in the back shed, a big Pyrenees Mountain Dog in the yard, an apricot poodle named Woody in the house, some cats, chickens, guineas maybe, guinea pigs for sure.  It's a certain kind of Eden at her house.  The last time we were there, she put a baby chicken in my hands and I had to cup it.  I don't know who was more scared, me or that bird.  It was ugly and bird poop is ugly and I just wanted the itchy little feeling out of my hands.

Loretta has big plans for the animals she is going to hang out with in the new world.  I do too of course.  Mostly a tiger.  However, I do like elephants.  Carly called them elefunks as a baby.  Elefunks, boonies, puppa dogs, and boydees, she had her own word for every animal before she could really speak well.  She thought long and hard about vet school.

I wonder of course if that whole curse to snakes means there won't be any in the new world or they will all have legs then.  Like, we have lizards now, so a snake is not merely a lizard minus legs.  They have an entire system of transportation that, if it wasn't so gruesome to look at, would be mesmerizing.  I'm pretty sure I would not get around that well if I lost my limbs.

Last night as I left my office, the earthworms were on the sidewalk and one of them was the size of a pencil and he was hustling up the concrete like he had places to go and people to see.  I watched for a moment as his segments distended with his stretch, and then contracted to propel him forward.

And then it started grossing me out and I got out of there.  He's lucky I didn't squish him good, but because he was so big I figured he'd be a mess on my shoes.

One time in Arkansas we were out in service, me and Carly and Jennifer and Sara Rowe, only she was Sara Bowen then.  So anyhow, my Focus was in the shop as someone hit me with their car and I had a rental.  It was spring break, thus we could be out and about on a weekday.  The weather is cool there in March, but it had been just that kind of fake out warm that you thought it was spring but it was still chilly.

A snake was stupid enough to come out, and then his cold blooded self was cold.  So at the first door out in rurals, we pull in a driveway and Sara opens the door and right about where she was going to put her foot, a coiled up snake was trying to warm himself.

She yanked the door shut and we wanted to see of course so we backed the car up.  There he was, a pretty big coil which undoubtedly was the reason he thought he could venture out to start with.

Well, he's about that far from the car, so I pull forward only about a foot closer to him, trying to run him over. 

We backed up, and he was still coiled up cold.

I went forward again, all of us looking that way (the people were not at home.  Sara and Jennifer being pioneers in frequently worked territory already knew this) to see where he was.

Backed up.  Still coiled up, but we are closer.

Pulled forward.  Put it in reverse, backed up.  Still coiled.

Went rocking back and forth trying to get closer and he just stayed coiled.  Finally I thought I had to be on top of him and as we backed up, he had finally uncoiled and was unhurriedly slithering away.  I put the car in drive and gunned it, aiming right at where I expected him to be.

It occurred to me about then that I had two pioneers in my car and I was trying to kill one of Jehovah's creatures.  About the time that thought whizzed through my head, as I was moving forward, I heard a splatting sound. 

In the backseat catty cornered to me as the driver, Sara says:  "Oooh yeah!  We got him!"

I didn't worry about having to talk to any elders about animal cruelty after that.  I'm not saying I'm proud of what I did.  I am saying I can't stand snakes, and who better to understand that than Jehovah?

There are no land snakes in New Zealand (sea snakes, a few swim up there, but they cannot live on land) and no snakes in Ireland.  Some good comes from being an island.  That's reason enough for me to consider moving there.  When I took the girls to Sea World in 1999, we saw a big 20' or so green moray eel in the reef aquarium and that made me feel slickly sick at my stomach to see him gliding around. 

I was thinking about all the animals I love.  I am very fond of those little tasmanian devils.  I know, they are called devils for a reason, but in the new world, I think I'd like to have some as I reside snakeless in New Zealand.  I like mammals.  I like rodents.  I love things with fur.  When we were moving to Arkansas the girls and I were looking at apartments and we asked one potential landlord about pets.  She said nothing with fur.  Carly said well, that leaves Dad out.  (Yeah, he's a hairy one, except the top of his head). 

I just don't like any reptiles and am not much more interested in amphibians.  I don't know if Jehovah is going to get me over that or give snakes legs or what.  I know it'll be okay, but I still don't think I'll ever really be able to laugh if I see a baby playing on a cobra hole.

Isn't that funny?  I can imagine climbing up on an elefunk and hanging on for a full out galloping charge.